South Yorkshire Times — Friday, 29 June 1934

Marconigrams

“Every civilised country is full of savages.”—Dean Inge.

Bowler: “Blimy! Ow’s that?” Umpire: “Not out—unless you asks properly.”—”Punch.”

“The Times” had the wittiest comment on the Test match: “Magnus est Verity, et praevaluit.”

“More Burglars at Wedding Receptions,” announces a headline. Among those presents, as it were.—”Punch.”

The Swinton Urban District Council are reducing the rents of most of their houses on account of increased rates.

“Some parents are very rude, but others have learned to keep silent while their children are talking.”—Sir Josiah Stamp.

Letter from a Denaby mother: “Sorry cannot attend school to-day, her face is breaking out all through her stomach.”

A visitor describes London as the changeless city of the world. He has evidently been riding in our taxicabs.—”Punch.”

Solicitor at Barnsley: The motorist to-day does not know how he stands. If he does not blow enough he is wrong; if he blows too much he is wrong.

The West Riding Education Committee is going forward with its proposal to have the leaving age in elementary schools raised from 14 years to 15 years.

A magistrate, when told that a man had bought five motor-cars for fourteen pounds, said that he should go far. “We doubt it, unless he goes by train.”—”Punch.”

The Mining Association of Great Britain have asked to be heard against the Sheffield Gas Bill when that measure comes before a Select Committee of the House of Commons.

A tobacconist is giving away a pipe with every ounce of tobacco. Another useful idea would be to give away a packet of matches with each automatic cigarette-lighter.—”Punch.”

Mr. Joseph Jones, general secretary of the Yorkshire Miners’ Association, will be elected president of the Miners’ Federation at the annual conference which opens at Edinburgh on July 16.

The Rev. William Abel Turner, vicar of Campsall, formerly curate in charge of St. George’s, Mexborough, celebrated the jubilee of his priesthood with a thanksgiving service in Campsall Church on July 20th.

Mr. Spencer Baker, Clerk to Conisborough Urban District Council, is to read a paper on “Local Authorities and the Press,” at the conference of the Urban District Councils’ Association, in Whitby to-day (Friday).