South Yorkshire Times, January 13th,1933
“Honours” List
Mentioned In Wombwell’s Despatches
“Awards” Of Merit
The New Years Honours List recently published contained no names from the Wombwell district: another proof that the Noble Army of Nobodies is persistently overlooked. True, if everybody was somebody nobody would be anybody, but after all-
Worth makes the man, and want of it the fellow:
The rest is all of leather and prunella.
The marvellous truth is everywhere confessed;
Slow rises worthy by obscurity depressed.
On this state of affairs our staff in Wombwell district have been cogitating seriously. In their opinion, too many gems of purest ray serene the dark unfathomed caves of ocean bear, and they have decided to bring them to the surface. Having compiled a New Year “honours List” of their own, they have been GRACIOUSLY PLEASED to award medals as follows: –
To Coun. Charles Poocock for the best gross score of the year at Tankersley Park – 45 not out.
To Coun. D. Cookson for replacing his divots on the same course,
To Coun. H. Moody for counting two fresh air shots taken when his opponent was not looking.
To Council house tenants who are not in arrears with their rents.
To the Mitchell Main captain for the fine debut his team made in Yorkshire Council cricket.
To the members of the St. John Ambulance Brigade and the Nursing Division for their smartness and efficiency.
To the teacher who gave us the prize howler “Queen Elizabeth” was so fond of dresses that she was seldom seen without one.
To the Wombwell builder who has dared to show speculative enterprise in these hard and difficult days.
To the man who has never had “flu” and does not know how to cure it.
To Mr. and Mrs. George Rhodes of Lundhill, on attaining their diamond wedding.
To Canon A.E. Sorby on his fine record of “forty not out” and as Rector of Darfield. Best of luck to him!
To the members of the Wombwell Tennis Club on their League successes: also, on their winter tennis.
To the proprietors of Wombwell Pavilion Theatre for their enterprise in reviving pantomime in the town.
To the local unemployed for the wonderful patience they have shown in these hard and depressing times.
To the Gas Manager for his attractive New Year display in the showroom in High Street.
To the headmaster of Broomhill Council School for the grand treat he gave to the children of the village at Christmas.
To the football director who played his ukelele while the ship went down.
To the Headmaster of the Wombwell Middle School for the splendid lads he is turning out.
To the Wombwell stallholder who gave £8 to the Cortonwood Disaster Fund.
To the tradesman who paid his rates on demand and asked the collector if he thought they had charged enough.
To the Wombwell Billiards Association for their sympathy and practical help for the blind,
To the Secondary Schoolboy who gave his seat to an old lady on a tram car on Monday morning.
To Mr. Daniel Hammerton of Darfield on attaining his 93rd birthday. “Many Happy Returns.”
To the Wombwell teacher who gave a number of deserving boys a holiday at her own expense.
To the Wombwell boy who amazed the poultry world by winning the Bantam Cup at Barnsley.
To the manager and manageress of Wombwell Baths for their excellent work in training children.
To Mr. S. B. Cattell for his very capable direction of local amateur dramatics.
To the staff of the Hemingfield Church school for their repeated successes in the county minor scholarship examination.
To Father M. Gosley for his wonderful pioneer work in Park Street.
To the Rector of Wombwell on his fine pastoral work and his appointment as Rural Dean.
To Mr. George Dickinson and Mr. T. H. Foulstone of Darfield for their “fighting” speeches.
To the Conservative Fishing Club for their deep-sea fishing exploits.
To the Jump Players for their successful efforts in opera.
To. Mr. Seth Ibbeson, for zeal, energy, and enterprise for old people of the town.
To the man who will get up and denounce the scandal of poorly clad people having to stand in the rain and cold outside the relieving office in Station Lane.
To the Park Attendant and his staff for the way they have worked while nobody has been looking.
To the good-mannered boy who made a point of never returning a yo-yo unwrapped.
To the schoolboy who writes: “A fissure is a man who sells fish.”
And to the school girl who described matrimony as “a place where souls suffer for a time on account of their sins.”
To the political speaker visiting Wombwell who told us “Practically the whole of Ireland is a pasteurised area.”
To the young man who has walked from Wombwell Main to Elsecar every morning for eight years for band practice.
To the man who ran from the bottom of Church Street to Summer Lane for a bus on Saturday and having missed it, said “Dash it!”
To the young man who stood at attention during the playing of the National Anthem in a local theatre – “whence all but he had fled.”
To the man who is opposed to the trams but continues to ride them from a sense of public duty.
To Mr. S. Missing for his careful and reverent keeping of the war memorial at Wombwell.”
To the person who got two stamps with one ha’penny from the machine at Wombwell Post Office.
To the Rev. E. J. Jones for the splendid sermons preached in 1932.
To the caretaker of the Town Hall for never forgetting to wind up the ping-pong.
To the police of Wombwell for their tact, efficiency, and forbearance, with a naughty community.
To Coun. John Leo. Joyce of Hoyland for his prowess in the inter-Council bowls “tests.”
To Mr. W. Gedney of Hemingfield for his efforts to find useful occupation in a workless world.
To the person who will promise to make a serious effort to revive boxing – a sport in which Wombwell has lost its prestige.
To the Sunday school teachers of Wombwell who give up their weekends and holidays for the young of the town.
Personal: To the M.C.s who will cut out the alleged modern dances and give us more waltzes and Paul Joneses.
To the Jump mother who has had twenty-one children.
And last, but not least, to ourselves for daring to put this across you.
Notwithstanding the care taken in preparing this list, the compilers do not claim that it is exhaustive. If sufficient names are submitted, the publication of a supplementary list will be considered. To be eligible candidates must have achieved or attempted something big and not unworthy. They must not have won a medal before.